One of the amazing things about travelling is how easily people co-exist who have little understanding of each other. A smile. A nod of the head. A point or a gesture is usually enough to get you through most conversations. And life goes on. You don’t always end up with specifically that which you requested, but somehow you excuse the misinterpretation for the joy of the gesture.

It makes the misunderstandings that happen within our own culture or country, so much more unacceptable. How do we struggle so much to communicate with people who speak our own language and understand our own customs? Does the simple fact that we talk too much somehow distract us from looking beyond the words to understand the true meaning that is needing to be communicated? Do we mask our requests with eloquent speech that is often unnecessary? Or is the issue a little deeper than that?

It has become so much more obvious to me that clear and direct communication is a very important tool to succeeding in both life and business. But rather than give you the five steps to good communication here (you can Google that and read a myriad of articles to help you with this), I would rather tell you some of the ways that I struggle to say what I mean, at times.

I want to appear confident

There is a false sense of security that comes from appearing like you have all the answers. The more you grow in your business, or your employment; the more ‘expertise’ that you think you should have acquired by now, the more fearful you become of asking for help. Or admitting that you do not know something. Being in a foreign country, it is blatantly obvious that you have no idea what the other person is talking about, and it is strangely refreshing to be able to easily admit that you do not know it all.

I don’t always say what I mean

There are many reasons why we all do this. It may be for fear of offending. It may be fear of rejection. It may be the way that we have be conditioned throughout our childhood. It may just be simply finding the right words, or the fact that we have limited understanding of ourselves and so struggle to connect to what we really think or feel at the time. The most beautiful moments happen when you get to the point and express yourself in an honest and genuine way. As exemplified in this foreign country – forget the words, and just string together an action or a gesture that will help you get the point across.

People interpret my words through their own perceptions

Unfortunately, this one is difficult for you to control or shape to your advantage. People will always filter what you are saying or expressing through their own limited understanding of you, their own conditioning and the environment that they have to use as a reference point around them. How would I describe the word blue to you if you had never seen it for yourself? When you are misunderstood, and your meaning is lost in the poor translation of perceptions, do not be downhearted. Accept and move on. The important points will soak-in  when they need to.

In the end, what remains is what matters

As with everything in life, the more you practise, the better you get. If you are lucky enough to travel, immerse yourself in a country for a while where you cannot speak the language. It will give you a whole new appreciation for the beautiful gift of communication, and the many forgotten ways there are given to us to express ourselves without having to rely on the right words. If you cannot travel the world, or even if you do, in any case, open your eyes to the people around you and look beyond the limited words. Look past the held-back actions and connect on a truer, deeper level that will allow your personal and business relationships to flourish.

People may be surprised that I have expressed the challenge I have to communicate effectively at times. The greatest lesson I have learnt to date that has helped me grow in this area is the realisation that, as humans, we are so much alike amongst all of our differences. The person next to you is probably struggling just as much as you are. Draw some confidence from this fact and allow the connection to go beyond the struggle. The connection is what really matters in the end. How you get there – not so important.